Mood Swing Daze

Come join me on a joyride into the fascinating world of mobileware

Muhammad Ridzwan

The world would be much safer if women had no menses. As you are reading this article, some dude out there is busy dodging plates, forks and cups being thrown by an unruly girlfriend or wife.

Premenstrual Syndrome, commonly known as PMS,  causes physical and psychological symptoms that occur in the week before and during a woman’s menstrual period. Symptoms include irritability, anxiety and assault on the helpless significant other.

It is rumoured that famous female serial killers such as Lydia Trueblood and Amy Gilligan committed their heinous crimes during their mood swing days. At their feet were men who met untimely deaths because they just didn’t know when to stay away. Thankfully for the rest of us, help is a mere download away.

Palm

Developed by British software maker Thompson Solutions, Menstrual Cycle 1.1 is an application for Palm devices that helps couples keep track of the woman’s red flag days. You enter key events in the cycles such as the start and the last day of menstrual bleeding. The application will predict the next few cycles in the coming months.

Although it can’t warn you about the exact dates to avoid your woman, it will give you a summary of potential dates where increased blood pressure and anxiety is expected to peak. Information is tabulated in an easy-to-read calendar form.

Menstrual Cycle is available for US$10 per download at www.thompsonsolutions.btinternet.co.uk. Unfortunately, no trial version.

Pocket PC

Another application to keep track of a woman’s significant dates is Menstrual Cycle Calculator 4.1 (These software makers are obviously not very creative. Wouldn’t a name like “The Hunt for Red October V2.0” sound better?)

But unlike the previous programme, Menstrual Cycle Calculator has a more specific purpose – family planning. It will prompt for vital data such as age, weight, and the starting days of the menstrual cycle.

The application will indicate fertility status for any given day and even recommend the best time to get busy under the sheets.

This information can be viewed as a graph, a calendar or as text for the woman’s current cycle, cycles in the past and projected cycles in the future. Information from past cycles can also be downloaded and archived on your PC. The application is only designed to run on Pocket PC devices. You can get it at www.download.com for US$19.99. A 30-day trial version is available.

But the application with the easiest-to-use interface is Beik’s Woman Calendar for Windows Mobile Pocket PC. Based on the popular desktop version, the software is a calendar that displays vital information about a woman’s menstruation cycle using funny icons.

These include a huge blood drop icon for heavy flow days, small blood drop icons for lighter flow days and an angry face for days she’s expected to turn into Mrs Hyde. Woman Calendar is available for download at www.geekzone.co.nz for US$14.95.

Unfortunately no technology exists for you to know exactly when your lady is currently having her period. You will still need to ask her about that. This may prove to be the trickiest bit yet and you will be alone on this one. Be diplomatic and good luck, brother!