I’ve heard a lot about you from people
Your promoters say that I will be able to enjoy “always on, high-speed performance” from you. Just the sound of those words makes my beats per minute double, so you have an idea how much I look forward to that promise being kept. You’re also supposed to offer all sorts of thrilling services. I hope that’s true because “always on, high-speed performance” means nothing without special services that enhance my entertainment pleasure or increase my work productivity.
Secondly, please make sure that I don’t end up in the poorhouse due to your high expenses. I can understand that good things always come at a cost but please be reasonable.
If you cost too much, I may have to go back to my old friends who served me so faithfully in the past. Sure, Ms. GPRS and Ms. EDGE are not as attractive as you but they do get the job done at rates I can afford.
Thirdly, I want you with me wherever I go. I want to be free to move all over Malaysia and know you will be right there with me.
It will be frustrating if I develop a strong attachment to you and find you missing just when I need you most. I understand that you need some time to settle down before being able to follow me everywhere I go, but I must warn you that I am not a patient man.
When one of your promoters, Datuk Jamaluddin Ibrahim of Maxis, asked if anyone had doubts about you, I told him that I had some concerns.
They are not related to your capabilities – I have no doubt that you can enhance the quality of my life. My concerns have more to do with your promoters’ commitment to making your stay here productive.
If you can do what your promoters say you’re capable of, I have no doubt that you will have lots of admirers and people queuing up to engage your services. But if you fail to deliver, like your friend, Ms. WAP, did a few years back, you will find our relationship sour very quickly.
Yours faithfully (for now),
Kash
Kashminder Singh 